Filed under: Christian Living, Counseling, Discipleship, Friends, Lessons Learned, Life
I saw a lot of guilt and bitterness both in my own life and in the lives of others last semester, that stemmed from not believing God’s sovereignty. Many of us will say that God is sovereign, but then turn around and say things like, “I know this is beyond my control, but I want there to be something I can do to change this so it doesn’t hurt so and so.” “I’m ruining everything.” “So and so doesn’t know what their sinning against me has cost me. I’m not ready to forgive him yet. He is going to have to earn my trust back.”
Let me clue you in on something. The sovereignty of God means that you or I can’t bring anything into each other’s lives that God does not orchestrate. Stop feeling guilt about not being good enough for that friend or spouse. Stop moping about how your difficulty has affected another when it was something beyond your control. Stop accusing others of harming you or bringing you more than you can bear. Those claims are actually accusing the Lord of not being good. It is accusing Him of being unkind to the person who you have affected or of his unkindness in allowing you to be hurt by another. Instead, we can be certain that nothing comes our way that is not loving and divinely orchestrated. That’s good news! That includes break-ups, financial struggles, limitations, sins, and the whole gammet.
Yes, that boy may have been insensitive. Yes, your illness may have come at some cost to your roommate. Yes, your moving away brings great sorrow to those who love you. Yes, that teacher is harder than the others and yes, his B may have cost you a scholarship… this trial was dealt to you by the hand of God. Take it as such and rejoice. Rejoice at seeing your heart. If you didn’t sin in response to this trial, rejoice at seeing the Spirit at work in you. If you are suffering and not sinning, rejoice at coming to know the Lord more fully. Rejoice at sharing in his suffering. Rejoice at your need for Christ. Rejoice at your opportunity to not only model Christ’s response but to help that other believer that wronged you look more like Christ too.
Let the sovereignty of God cure you of moping and bitterness and instead be replaced with rejoicing and loving service to God and others.
Filed under: Biblical Femininity, Christian Living, Community, Discipleship, Family, Friends, Lessons Learned, missions, My life
Have you ever gotten overwhelmed by the demands of ministry? Maybe you have seen many needs, too many to meet with your time and resources. Maybe you think you are not fit for the job or task God has given you. Pretty much every job I’ve ever been in, aside from GAP, I panicked at some point and thought, “I’m not up to the task. There’s been a mistake. I’m not supposed to be here.” I was wrong. God will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. That means that He has placed you there. When you feel the tension and you feel like there is more to do or more burdens than you can bear, remember He thinks you’re up to the task and He is using this to grow and change you.
Luke 9 shows us that Christ equips before He sends out. You may think you need x or y and you don’t have it, but He provides you with everything you truly need. II Peter 1:3 tells us that God has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him.
When I started writing this post last December, I saw how God was stretching me and remembered that He had custom built the trials for me because He knew I was up to the task. I saw at that time how those difficulties in my job were used by God to teach me how to respond when I saw needs I couldn’t meet. I recognized God was preparing me, although I didn’t know for what. I wrote at that time over 9 months ago, “God in His goodness is teaching me here and now. There will always be more needs than I can meet, especially if I am ever in a shepherding role be that teaching, a missionary, or a resident director” … Look at that. I’m an RD!!!!!! Yippee. When I started this post I didn’t even know if there would be a position open, let alone that I would be hired to fill one. I’m so thankful that the Lord equips us for the ministries He gives us. I need to remember this so that I don’t have that panicked moment in this job :).
At that same time last December, I saw God teaching me to be quick to listen and apt to take advice. Being a single girl in ministry is hard. I think it is even harder in my current role, so praise God He got me thinking about this almost a year ago. I can work work work and there is no one to say come home. This was an issue in my last job but thankfully I had people in my life saying, “Go home,” that I learned to listen to. I will need to continue to listen to them as they help me balance what it means to be in ministry as a single girl and how to think through the challenges of minsitry in general. I need to listen to them as they say, “Jenn, You may think that is best, but that is your opinion. It doesn’t make it best.”
Another apropos lesson God was teaching me last December was what it looks like to minister in a larger sphere. There are daily more and more opportunities that I see that I have to say no to. This is more true today than it was then. When my life was on an isolated little community in Israel with 40 students and 7 staff members with 7 kids, with limited mobility, and a centrally-located office where I lived in the same place as all my coworkers, friends, and the students I was ministering to I had more opportunities than I could take advantage of and more things I could possibly be doing than time to do them in. Last December I was working with 22 staff members, many of whom had spouses, there were 17 kids in our department, I went to a church of 600 and had more opportunities to get involved and interact with people there than at the Keilah (Congregation in Israel). There were around a thousand students I served. I had roommates, I have family in the area and I am only 5 1/2 hours away from the rest of my family. I have old friends within driving distance, I have new friends all around. All of these things are good, but that means I have to be willing to say no to good things for better things. All of these spheres of my life, church, friends, coworkers, etc. have grown leaps and bounds in my new role. I wrote about this lesson in the original draft, “God is so good and so wise to teach me this now. It makes me wonder what is ahead.” Haha. Now I know and I proclaim even louder “God was so good and wise to start teaching me that then.”
I’ve enjoyed going back through my drafts and considering these things which God was teaching me and which He is still causing me to think through or apply to daily life. I’m getting close to writing about my current life :).
Filed under: Christian Living, Discipleship, Hospitality, Lessons Learned, My life, work
I started this post on July 14th when I was thinking through RDing. Now I’m in the midst of it, but it is still true and I need the reminder. I don’t need to be a larger than life version of me and have it all together or be super animated or dynamic. I just need to be a Spirit-filled me. It’s not my wisdom or my might necessary to do this job. That would never be enough. I need the power that raised Christ from the dead that is at work in me. I just want to display what’s in this jar of clay, so that they can see the glory of Christ and worship Him. My strengths, sins, and quirks are different than other people’s who have been in this job, which means that being a Spirit-filled, faithful RD will look somewhat different for me than it did for those who came before or even from my coworkers in other dorms. It may look different today than it does tomorrow. I don’t have to have every girl over for dinner this semester, plan the greatest event known to mankind, or disciple every girl in my dorm. I need to be faithful with the opportunities and gifting the Lord has given me. That’s going to mean a lot of baking, a lot of ordinary moments with girls in my apartment, and a lot of living life before people. Here we go!
Well, classes have begun. Everyone kept reminding me that RA Reentry to Labor Day was a different season. It is! Thankfully not every month is August, but my life even in September is still radically different. I feel like a young mom in so many ways, only I have 87 college-aged girls.
- I’m eager for everyone to get back into a schedule now that classes have started.
- I’m so proud that my girls are active on campus. I have girls in Chorale, Majesty, on the Basketball, Volleyball, Soccer, and Tennis Teams, and in this semester’s production of “The Man Who Came to Dinner.”
- I feel like school will be so much less tiring once it gets into the swing of things than summer break. Just as vacations take a lot of time, forethought, planning, and prep for Moms, welcomes, housing, dorm events, WOW events all are a lot of work. Totally worth it, but glad only August is August.
- Just as the anguish of childbirth is soon forgotten when a mother holds her little one, the pains of August have already started to be forgotten and replaced by a love for the girls in the dorm.
- I found myself talking with students today about finding a church, how to best utilize their meal plans, their health… I’ve served more bowls of chicken soup and Gatorade in the last few weeks. I also had my first ER visit last night.
- I find myself teaching etiquette :). Knock and be invited in before you enter. Treat other’s stuff as your own. Put things back to the way you were when you are done… and having discussions about life… That hem needs to come down. That neck line needs to come up.
- I have to expect to get less done. Just as new moms come to realize really fast that everything takes more time with a baby (like grocery shopping) and that they can’t get as much done in a day as they used to, I have to realize the same thing. Walking out to switch my laundry may mean an hour or running errands may mean five hours depending on who I run into. Plan on doing less.
- I get worried about injuries and defensive when you put my girls in danger. Why would you make someone spin around a bat and then jump over a concrete wall onto more concrete? “You are practicing for an underwater event? I’m sending a lifeguard with you.”
- I get less sleep. There may not be middle of the night feedings, but there are middle of the night texts of different varieties and there are just later night activities in general.
- I’m tired, but Oh so thankful.
Filed under: Christian Living, Community, Cool Finds, Discipleship, Friends, FUN!, My life, These are a few of my favorite things..., tmc, Vocation, work
Great first day on the new job! Most people hate work meetings but my meeting today involved a tea garden and 3 good friends: Dave, Karrie, and Ona. I can’t believe I get paid to hang out with three awesome people; to be encouraged by their wisdom, experience, and the truth they speak into my life; to laugh with them; and to creatively think through how to motivate the students on our campus to worship, love, and serve God as they live out the one-anothers. I’ve been meditating on the command found in Hebrews 10:24 to consider how to spur others on toward love and good deeds. God thinks this is important enough to command us to do this and I don’t think I do this often enough but this meeting today was not only a consideration of that but it was actually the application of that consideration. We encouraged one another in our love for and pursuit of both God and people all over a lovely Vanilla Earl Gray Tea Latte. Yum!
Filed under: Biblical Femininity, Christian Living, Community, Cool Finds, Discipleship, Friends, FUN!, Girly-Girl, Lessons Learned, tmc
Discipleship applies to all areas of life even shopping. I had a great day last Saturday with these girls.
Filed under: Biblical Femininity, Christian Living, Discipleship, Family, Good Advice, Lessons Learned, My life, Parenting, role models, These are a few of my favorite things...
My grandmother is adorable. It’s been a while since my trip to Iowa, but I wanted to share my grandmother’s practical wisdom with you. My grandmother is a faithful servant, but she also has a clear understanding of her humanity and God’s divinity. She is 90-year-old former pastor’s wife with 7 kids, 17 grand kids, and now 21 great grand kids. Her friends told me that even though my grandpa is gone, she is still a faithful pastor’s wife. She regularly goes and visits people in the medical facility at her retirement home even though she herself is on oxygen 24/7 and has to use a motorized scooter to get around.
A couple of times while I was out there, I heard people say, “Now you take care, Hilda.” Her response was always, “That’s about all I can do.” She understands that she can’t do everything she once did even though there is more she would like to do, but she trusts God with the difference. She’s a faithful 90-year-old woman.
While I was there, I decided to ask my grandmother a few questions about life and ministry. This is some of what I learned:
Grandma out of all the places you and Grandpa ministered, which did you enjoy the most?
We like them all.
From talking to her kids who were in town as well, I found out there were extremely difficult situations at some of the churches, but my grandmother genuinely meant that she liked them all. I also found out that at almost everyone they had little to no money. They had seven kids on the salary of the pastor of a small church. At one point, I learned, they lived in the basement of a church member’s house for several months with 7 kids. My grandmother cooked on a camping stove the whole time.
Grandma, with 7 kids in 10 years. were you tired? How did you do that?
I’m sure I was but I didn’t think about it. It was life. There were things I wish I could have done better and times I wished I could have given the kids more but we just did the best with what we had.
She is precious. I love her and am so thankful for her example. May I measure success by my faithfulness and leave the rest to the Lord who has unlimited resources, perfect timing, perfect strength, perfect wisdom, and abundant grace.
Filed under: Christian Living, Community, Cool Finds, Discipleship, Family, Friends, Good Advice, Gospel, Hospitality, Life, role models, These are a few of my favorite things...
God is faithful! That’s the message I came away with after spending an hour or two with my grandmother’s friends, Joan and Ted. That is the summary of their life stories.
How did they meet? God worked it out. Ted had wanted to be married for a long time. He would pray for a wife but he didn’t really have a social group with women in it. He cared for his mother until she died and worked at the post office. He met Joan by going on a few dates with her sister :). He got along with her sister, but they didn’t fit. Then he met Joan! He was 54 when they married and she was in her 40s. That was 32 years ago. Neither had been married before. “We’ve made up for it since,” he told me.
How did Ted end up working at the post office? He would have been happy doing anything. His father didn’t like working in a factory, but Ted wouldn’t have minded, but His cousin heard of a job opening at the post office. Two weeks later he was working there in a job he loved. He continued to work in the same place until he retired. They’ve now been retired for around 25 years. They said they have been enjoying life ever since. I tried to correct them and say “But you’ve spent your retirement serving too.” They corrected me by saying, “That’s a large part of enjoying retirement!”
They also talked about how they ended up getting into my grandmother’s retirement home. They never could have imagined being able to afford living there, but a realtor put the idea into their heads as they sold one house and bought another. They got on a wait list as they fixed up their house. When the retirement home called them one August saying they had an apartment available, they declined it. The home called again on Labor Day and Ted said yes. Their house went on the market September 11, 2001. Joan asked Ted, “Do you still think this is a good idea?” He said yes. Their house sold in 2 days to a descendant of the man who built the house. It sold for more than they asked and was paid for in cash. They doubled their money and moved into the village before the housing market crashed.
Joan and Ted spoke on how they couldn’t have imagined or planned a better fit than what God had in store at the retirement home. It combines their “love for old people, music, and service.” Joan is a part of the choral group there and she plays the piano for several chapel services. Ted is the resident helper/fix-it man. They take people to appointments and to the grocery store. My grandma even has them book her doctors appointments to make sure they are free. If the doctor calls her about an appointment, she has them call Joan. They help the different chaplains, including my grandfather, and the different residents over the years.
They talked about my grandma as a favorite of theirs. They told me that different residents respond differently to pain and old age. Many are crotchety, but it doesn’t matter how much pain my grandmother is in she doesn’t respond grumpily. They said that they will be in the E.R with her because she is doing poorly and even then they can laugh together at something that happens. What a sign of the Spirit at work! They talked bout what a joy it is to serve here. They aren’t just serving her though, they are serving all of us who love my grandmother and can’t be there. It’s nice to know someone is watching out for her and is available if she needs. We’ve adopted them. They are such an example of a life of service lived for God. They may not have children, but their lives as a faithful man and a faithful woman have led to many spiritual children. May I live a life worthy of the call of my Savior as they have.
Filed under: Christian Living, Community, Counseling, current issues, Discipleship, Discipline, Friends, Good Advice, Lessons Learned, Life, My life, tmc
While I was thinking through perfectionism and guilt, I found that I was having difficult, grumpy conversations with people.
I wasn’t able to meet my own standard of perfection and now I was looking for someone else to blame. I was devastated when someone pointed out my error and frustrated when someone upsets my plans or what I felt I had to do. It’s my standard and I can’t meet it so I have to blame someone otherwise I have to bear the guilt.
By making myself the lawmaker, I erected my own laws according to my own kingdom purposes, and I judged anyone who got in my way. This may take the form of depriving one’s children of the appropriate amount of food or of adequate clothing in order to be a good steward or one may think that loving one’s neighbor means she has to have every neighbor over for dinner each month, or that working as unto the Lord means that one must put in 80 hours a week.
Elyse Fitzpatrick explains that “elevating personal preferences to the status of moral rightness ultimately makes life oppressive.” (Overcoming Fear, Worry, and Anxiety 91). It leads to fear when one cannot obey his own standard, panic when others fail expectations, and “the nagging feeling that everything is about to blow up” (Overcoming Fear, Worry, and Anxiety 91). Amen! I now see that that was true of my life.
Recognizing that I was punishing others for my failure to meet my own standards has made a huge difference in my social life. I now spend more time with others and am more gracious to others when they fail, even though I have a long way to go. I see things as more of an opportunity and less burdensome.
One key moment illustrated this change in my life. One of my intern messed up. It was a small thing, it wasn’t eternal, but it was a common sense thing and she messed up in front of my boss. That would have absolutely devastated me five months ago and I would have punished my intern with my disdain and coldness. In this case I let her know how she should do that task in the future.There was a second of “I want to run away. I’m not good enough at this job,” but instead of lasting anywhere from one day to a week and starting a downward spiral, it lasted less than a minute.
Filed under: Community, Cool Finds, Discipleship, Friends, FUN!, pop culture, role models, school days, Student Comments, Teaching, These are a few of my favorite things..., tmc, work
Does it come as a surprise to anyone right now that I despirately need to do homework?